Fredric L. Rice
2005-01-19 08:14:26 UTC
Sometimes the fish in the barrel deserve to die
BY CLIF GARBODEN
America speaks with one voice. Unfortunately, it emanates from its
DONT FORGIVE my anger. All this needs to be said. And I know that as
soon as that stiff-faced to-the-manure-born right-wing lackey in the
White House tries to appoint a 21st-century counterpart to Roy Bean to
the Supreme Court in a few weeks, more people are going to wish theyd
said it sooner. John Kerry fucked up. More important, America fucked
up. And the people who fucked up the most you infamous red-staters
are going to suffer along with the rest of us. To put it in lingo a
NASCAR devotee would understand, "Yall deserve a good talkin-to."
John F. Kerry, youre first.
In your befuddling concession speech, you actually called for unity
and healing. Sounds good, clown, but cant you even imagine for a
second that the people who supported you so zealously for the past
five months might just see that insincere gesture of good
sportsmanship as a betrayal? See, unlike you pols, we voters actually
believe in shit. We believe that George W. Bush and his henchpeople
are a real threat to the survival of democracy. We believe that
theyre killing people for profit. And we believe that they dont have
a goddamn clue about forfending terrorism on US soil.
Thats not a position gap; thats an ideological gash. And its not
going to heal, because, unlike you expedient professional
truth-manipulators, Im not prepared to meet the enemies of freedom
halfway just because you lost the election. Your speechwriters might
see the Bush administrations failings as nothing more than convenient
fodder for your campaign blather, but the GOP juntas sins dont go
away just because decrying them no longer serves your ambitions. Last
week they were the imperialist pigs who misled us into war and you
were the savior. Now were the goddamn Getalong Gang?! Screw that.
Fight back or shut up.
Now, the rest of you ...
A lot of us effete Easterners want to know: what the fuck is wrong
with you?! You voted against your self-interest at every turn (you
dumb-asses in South Dakota deserve special credit for voting out one
of the most powerful Democrats in the Senate) and re-elected an
ignorant cowboy who cant be trusted to remember a lunch order, never
mind run a country. What in the name of God ...?! Wait, it was in the
name of God, wasnt it? Rendered weak and ignorant by a spoon-fed
climate of fear, you slack-jawed inbred flatlanders have sought refuge
in the traditional twin towers of mindlessness jingoistic patriotism
and fundamentalist religion. Gods on your side. Like hell. Jesus
loves us, dammit.
Okay, you want God? Lets talk about God. Your religion is bogus.
Fundamentalism, the facile belief in the unexplained and
un-researched, is something you born-agains (couldnt get it right the
first time, huh?) share with Al Qaeda, whose ideologues doggedly
adhere to religious misinterpretations every bit as silly and
dangerous as yours. Just like you, Muslim fundamentalists long to
impose an unrealistic and intolerant pseudo-Calvinist morality on the
world. In fact, Americas religious right has so much in common with
the Shiah, its a wonder you guys dont invite them to join the
Rotary. Born-againsters look for the face of Christ in the wallpaper;
fundamentalist Muslims hallucinate the voice of the 12th Imam; but
aside from that (and extremely divergent attitudes toward pork), you
both hate the same stuff homosexuality, pacifism, Jews, education,
uppity women, enlightenment, short skirts, gangsta rap, tattoos,
infidels ... (They also share your love of super-lethal weaponry.)
Stop Elmer Fudd web site: http://www.ElmerFudd.US/
Covert text file server: http://www.notserver.com/
Scientology crooks: http://sf.irk.ru/www/ot3/otiii-gif.html